17 December 2018
Today, I celebrate and rejoice that I have completed my Swedish course. 1 year and 4 months of hard work and dedication to finishing this course. From SFI (Swedish for immigrants) to SAS (Swedish as a second language).
Not to mention, the tears that come along with it.
The frustration. The disappointment. The anger.
This was not an easy path for me in the beginning. I stressed myself so badly about it because I wanted to find a job as soon as impossible. I wanted to earn money again. I was bored being at home. I don’t find joy in shopping or eating out. I was bored visiting museums. I wanted to have my own money to buy my own stuff without feeling guilty of using my boyfriend’s money.
I remembered when I first took the beginner’s course on 7 August 2017. My friend and I wondered when we will ever master the language. I was stammering and stuttering at every single word. My brain was racking so hard to find the right word. I cried when I could not understand what a recruiter asked me on the phone. The recruiter spoke to me in Swedish and switched to English and told me that I cannot hire you because you cannot speak Swedish. I was upset, and I cried. My boyfriend took his phone and went to the toilet and called me. He spoke to me in Swedish and he said that he will practice with me.
My profession required me to know the language. I wished I had worked in IT and I need not worry about the language. Or came from the States because somehow, the people I know who come from there managed to secure a job even without knowing Swedish.
So, I forced myself to learn, and in that process, I hated the language. You know, if you force someone to do something, he or she ends up hating that stuff. But he or she reaches the goal with unfortunately, a bitter taste in the memories. Then, when I got to know some of my colleagues who did not know Swedish, I thought how unfair it was because I worked so hard to learn the language and find a job. But I could not find an answer to that. Gradually, I thought that it is great anyway that I learnt a new language and I managed to beat the odds to work in the language’s environment although it has been challenging.
I completed the national exams for the language. Apparently, we take the same exams as the kids in gymnasium do too. Now, a gymnasium here in Sweden is not referring to an actual gym. It is an upper secondary school for students between 16 to 18 years old. And I was just amazed with myself that I am in the same level as a 16 year old who knows this language their whole life. Here I am, a person who moved to Sweden in June 2017 and has reached this level by March 2018. I am not bragging. I am just surprised at how a human is capable of doing what it needs to for survival if they set their mind to it.
When I first started as an intern in March 2018, I could not understand 50% of what my colleagues were saying. They spoke so fast and they used slangs. I refused to communicate in English because I knew it will be detrimental to me. I had a headache for my first week as an intern. I was mentally exhausted. Even as an intern, I got rejected by recruiters because my Swedish was not fluent enough. I could not explain on my job experience in Swedish. I thought to myself – So having an internship does not help at all? Why does my work experience not matter at all? At the end of my 3-months internship, I could understand 80% of what my colleagues say. I came back as an employee 2 months later in August 2018 and I just completed my 6 months’ probation last week on 15 February 2019. I am now a full-time employee for the company. I can understand what my colleagues are saying, although I still need to pick up on some of the financial jargons and new words.
Today, I can look back to my journey and said that it has been worth it. No, I don’t hate the language that much.
I am not afraid to communicate with the locals.
I am not stressed if I receive a letter in Swedish.
I am not worried if I need to make a call and speak in Swedish.
I can speak to a doctor in Swedish.
I made a police report in Swedish (my phone was stolen in April 2018. Sweden is not as safe as it seems).
I watch Swedish series now and not needing to pause at every sentence to translate the words.
I am extremely proud of myself that I picked up a new language.
I WILL BASK IN THAT ACCOMPLISHMENT because I know well enough that I deserve it!
Of course, my thanks goes to the teachers in Hermods School at Olof Palmes Gatan and ABF School at Sveavagen.
